This is a very serious episode of Tune Me What?. We stumbled upon this sensational exposé on News24.com of what is happening to the South African Music industry. We weren’t entirely clear what the specifics were – we guess we may be victims of this “technology” ourselves – but apparently mind-control and Kurt Darren are involved in this conspiracy. As South African music lovers we felt it was our duty to give this shocking report a wider audience and to do our best to present evidence of the unquestionable grooviness of SA Music.
We therefore present 12 exhibits of audio evidence chosen at random, including:
- Anchors Up
- Dog Detachment
- Galore
- Jabula
- Jazz Dazzlers
- Kippie Moeketsi & The Marabi Kings
- Lucy Kruger
- Mabi Gabriel Thobejane
- MarkAlex
- Sugardrive
- Tribe After Tribe
And featuring Intergalactic Commander Kurt Darren
Further research has also uncovered “sensational” evidence that Kurt Darren may be a vessel for space aliens at the highest levels. Here is the visual evidence:
Please, if you have any further information about this conspiracy, contact us urgently!
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
An eagle-eyed and ever-vigilant listener sent in this photo of yet another mind evacuation stopping ‘Kurt Darren’ in his tracks. Experts agree that in this instance the alien overlords slipped up and when his mind returned ‘Kurt Darren’ had been switched with a backup alien avatar ‘Pete Burns’ 4900 nautical miles away. Astonished friends say the former Dead or Alive singer inexplicably started speaking in Afrikaans and demanding to know “the score” while performing at the entrance to Platform 3 northbound at London’s famous Piccadilly tube station. Meanwhile, back in South Africa, ‘Kurt Darren’ began singing “You Spin Me Right Round’ for startled rugby fans. However, since he did this in Xhosa, most assumed this was simply another pop star mangling the National Anthem and the incident passed largely unnoticed.
Please, if you spot any suspicious photos revealing ‘Kurt Darren’ entering a fugue state, submit the evidence to us. It is imperative this mind-control conspiracy is investigated thoroughly.
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